I Fought the SPANX and the SPANX Won!

“I believe that the ability to laugh at oneself is fundamental to the resiliency of the human spirit.”
― Jill Conner Browne

I sit at my wiggly desk which my children all used at one time or another throughout their school years.  I stare out  my window at the majestic mountain range reaching up to gray clouds.  There is a little circle of blue left for me to absorb, but it will shortly become gray and we will enjoy rain today……we need it.

Almost every day, I think,….what will I write today?  How can I be a loving friend to anyone who drops by this page?  What experience from my life could encourage, impact or even change the trajectory of a readers life.  I want to impact your life for good just as others have impacted mine.  Of course, I want to be thought of as a good writer and I want people to keep coming back.

However, today, the thought that comes to mind is, I’m in pain.  I fought the SPANX and the SPANX won!  There is no denying it.

Tuesday evening, I bought a new dress and a pair of SPANX for a work reception that was held at the elegant Garden of the God’s Club in Colorado Springs.  If you’ve never been there, please put it on your bucket list.  It is perhaps the most beautiful spot in Colorado Springs.  When you stand on the lawn facing the Garden of the Gods, you feel a little bit like your’re in heaven.  This particular night, the entertainment was a family of deer, three little ones and their parents, frolicking on the lawn for two solid hours.  It could not have been planned better.

Garden of the God's Club

But back to reality.  Before I left my office to go to the event, I snuck into the bathroom to put on my new dress and my SPANX.  I’ve never worn SPANX because they are so darn expensive.  Thirty minutes later, I tumbled out of the bathroom with sweat beads on my face, red, panting, barely able to breath.  Those suckers cost $28.00 and left me with a pulled shoulder and limp left arm.  I can tell you, it was not worth the one inch difference on my stomach.

Thank God there was a hole in the bottom area so that I didn’t have to repeat the procedure to get them on again after a bathroom break. The pressure on my organs guaranteed a night of several trips to the ladies lounge.  I imagined carrying a pair of scissors with me at all times in case of a claustrophobic attack during the reception.

So, I sit here today, sharing my little story with you, in terrible shoulder pain.  It’s been 6 days and the pain is worsening.  Perhaps a physical therapist can help.  I’m sure my insurance company will be glad to pay for a SPANX injury.  I wonder if I could donate those suckers to Goodwill instead of just throwing them away…..I mean, $28.00???

I’ve decided no more SPANX for me.  It’s simply not worth it.  I’m going to let my body be my body and as my daughter says, let my freak fly free!




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